First show on Tally since I started this journey from Fat Equestrian to Fit Equestrian. Half way through first test Tally broke and I seriously considered just walking out of the arena. We recovered enough to score a 64. Second test was Intro C and has Canters in it we scored a 63. Neither test was pretty. This judge was honestly a gift. Boy did I need the confidence gift she gave with the scores. My opinion should have been in the 50’s.
Watched the videos. I am a long way away. I’m feeling more confident in the saddle, but it truly is still not balanced. I need to push harder now. More core and more stamina.
It’s proven that a healthy lifestyle not only is just plain good for us, but it also helps with our relationships, our careers and our self esteem. So why do we slip up? Why does our Anti Self show up and why in the freak do we allow it?
Where I have grown in this journey is recognizing when I’m slipping up and find a new focus. You have read all the different things I incorporate in my day to day to help focus. I’ve added another. I purchased a juicer and yesterday this was my routine:
Drank a large glass of water immediately on waking.
Black Coffee 15 minutes later.
Juiced : a) 2 carrots b) 2 stalks of celery c) 1/2 beet d) 1/2 apple and handful of kale. Swigged it!!
Worked out (So yesterday was Sunday, so that work out was riding Tally)
Ate a 3 egg omelet with Kale and tomatoes and parsley. ( over did the parsley and it was not that great but ate it anyway)
Dinner was grilled Mahi with Asparagus and Avocado.
Drank a glass of Cologen with water and snacked a few dark chocolate chips. (they are not that great supposedly good for you)
Yesterday’s ride was amazing. This whole new lifestyle is truly getting me closer to being The Fit Equestrian. I have a show May 25th. I am showing Tally Intro Level Test B and Test C. Test B is a breeze. Can not lie I’m afraid of Test C. There is a small Canter movement in it TWICE. Yikes. Here’s the issue: When it is time to transition down from canter to trot I completely fall apart and it looks horrible. On top of all that, I have never cantered Tally off property. It would be so completely easy for me to just say no I’m not going to do test C, but if I don’t do it at this show I truly feel all this hard work will all be for naught.
So I totally must give credit to today’s post to Dr. Phil’s Phil in the Blanks guest today: Mike Bayer Today’s podcast resonated so much with me. If you don’t see me posting on my blog for a few days, I guaranty you it is because my Anti-Self has popped up and I am feeling guilty for letting it.
A few examples of best self and anti self in my riding:
Best self looks like this. I’m sitting up tall, Tally is in front of my leg, I’m at the barn regular, I know exactly what to do when he is not moving correctly, I’m pushing beyond my limit, I’m asking for a canter without fear.
My Anti self now looks like this. My head is down, my shoulders are not back, I’m trying to hide the fact my boobs are bouncing all over, I’m not keeping my core tight, totally not focused on keeping him on task, I give up when he gets flat and strung out, I let him stop on me.
Do you get where I’m going? My anti self is totally insecure!! My anti self in my day to day life crops up when I eat poorly, when I drink to excess, when I watch too much TV. To keep my anti self from showing up during the day, I personally need to journal, I need to read something completely positive and encouraging, I need to meditate. Focus – Focus – Focus!! Can you relate?
What is your payoff? Why have you made the goals you have? So, I am going to be upfront and honest. I am taking this straight from Living by Design by Dr. Phil. What does success in your life look like for you? I’m going to keep this focused first on my riding success. Why am I doing all this? What is my payoff? The choices are as follows:
I am getting into the best shape of my life so that I can achieve my equestrian goals. It has nothing to do with money or spirituality. It will aid in my psychological make up. The journey and then finally feeling like I have attained this goal will be probably the biggest boost to my psychological self. Social? Hmmm? Will achieving this goal change my social behavior. Haven’t really thought it through. I hope not actually. I hope it doesn’t go to my head and I become something I do not want to become. Bottom line, for me, it is all about achieving something that I have always dreamed of – Finally.
Next blog I’m going to examine this same “What’s in it for me” regarding my choice of employment.
Started this mind set and journey about the middle of January. Today is April 18th and I am officially down by 20 pounds. It sure does not sound like a whole lot. I do have to say though I feel a world better and my riding is really improving. I do not think I would be able to stay this focused if it were not for my personal trainer and the work out he puts me through. (No, I’m not some celebrity – You too can have a personal trainer – It is affordable)
Today I did read something that struck a nerve and maybe you will get the same motivation from it. I purchased from Habit Nest the Nutrition Side Kick Journal where I log my food and thoughts. It said the following: Your choices are 100 times more important than you think. Every choice you make today is building up a habit for the rest of your life. Our brains learn from what we do repeatedly. Ask yourself: If I made this choice EVERY DAY (for example, the decision to have something sweet after dinner every night) would I be a lot closer to my goals, or a lot further?
Well with the permission of my new favorite Instagram user, I would like to introduce you to @ride_above_hate_ . Kylie also has a website http://www.equestrianstrong.com. Not only does she have a super cute horse, this gal is a great rider. I look forward to following her and reading her posts.
There is one particular post of hers that I just read that honestly hurt my heart. I had read on another page that there has been some cyber bullying happening in the equestrian Instagram community. I personally have not seen it. I feel personally bullied enough just with the lack of plus sized clothes and equipment available let alone someone attacking me on my blog or Instagram. I really thought equestrians were above this. Mind you, I’m not an ostrich with my head in the sand, I’m sure there are gals laughing at me at the shows when I can’t hear them, but to boldly attack someone on Instagram is appalling. I agree completely with Kylie when she says ” Why can’t people just be nice. Guys this sport is hard, it’s dangerous, it’s demanding, it can kill you and we all do it for the horses. We NEED to support each other, we NEED to encourage each other, we need to remember why we started in this industry in the first place. Be kind. Please. Do it for the child inside you who fell in love with horses and never looked back. “